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Dino Marquéso
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Lieutenant Dino Marquéso
Birth nameDino Jean-Saúl Marquéso-Leshiffre
Nickname(s)Loudmouth
BornDecember 5th, 1974
Parabascas, Inyursta
DiedN/A
Buried
N/A
Allegiance Inyursta
Service/branchInyursta Inyurstan Army
Years of service1995-Present
Rank1st Lieutenant
Battles/wars

Dino Jean-Saúl Marquéso-Leshiffre also known as "Loudmouth Marquéso" is an active member of the Inyurstan Army as well as a military and political theorist. Dino Marquéso is also an occasional but unapologetic 4th-Wall Breaker.

Service Record

While it is known he served honorably and with distinction in the Lolloh-Ruolnik War, as well as the Greco-Bulgarian War, it is overall unknown what exact unit he serves with or what exactly he does. His compatriots have described him as always seeming to be in the right place at the right time to make witty commentary about the status of ongoing battles or the resolve of enemy forces. Despite his (relatively) low rank, he has managed to earn the respect and open ears of several important and high-ranking members of the Inyurstan military-intelligence complex.

Theorems

"Non-Physical Armors": Marquéso makes the claim that enemy units which posses names and back-stories are harder to eliminate compared to usual nameless soldiers. Additionally, he also claims that individuals or units that represent the preferred ideology, sexual preference or other personal attachment of some higher unspoken narrator also benefit from such "non-physical armor", making them highly dangerous and exceptionally complicated to kill.

On this subject he has stated quote:

  • "I would rather take on a hundred highly-trained elite commandos supported by air power and artillery than have to take on four lightly armed militia with a name, a backstory and sworn dedication to the perfect infallible ideology..."

"Crisis-Inducing Actions": Dino Marquéso argues that certain actions, such as banning gay pride or insulting particularly soft-skinned leaders is much more likely to induce a war - be it nuclear or conventional - than actions such as invasions, blockades or intentionally sabotaging diplomacy.

"Strategic Convenience": He claims that no matter how well executed a clandestine plan is or how much effort it taken to maintain stealth, there will always be some random event or asset at the right place and right time to spoil it.

"First Time Assuredness (FTA)": This theory proposes that, in a one-time event with probability X where 0 < X, X is certain to occur regardless of how low a probability X actually is. For example, 0 < X < 0.5%, and X is still assured to happen. In the context of military conflict, there might be an astronomically low chance of a battalion surviving a given bombardment with offensive capabilities in tact, yet it is assured they will survive with offensive capabilities in tact so long as that chance remains above zero. Likewise, and in conjunction with the theory above, an extremely-low aircraft could operate in absolute silence and avoid all possible radio contacts and will still get detected by the enemy so long as the probability of detection remains above zero.