View source for The Kids Are Dead and We Ran Out of Soy Milk

{{Infobox film
| name           = The Kids Are Dead and We Ran Out of Soy Milk
| image          = 
| image_size     = 
| border         = 
| alt            = 
| caption        = 
| film name      = 
| director       = Piet Vodnik
| producer       = Karl Pieters
| writer         = 
| screenplay     = Johann Ivansohn
| story          = 
| based on       = <!-- {{based on|title of the original work|writer of the original work}} -->
| narrator       = 
| starring       = Josef Kellermann
| music          = 
| cinematography = Ulrike Larsson
| editing        = 
| studio         = Drunken Squid Productions
| distributor    = Morzov Entertainment Group
| released       = December 15, 2010 <br><small>Radictistan</small>
| runtime        = 141 minutes
| country        = {{flag|Radictistan}}
| language       = Radictistani
| budget         = [[Radictistani radin|R$]]25,300,000
| gross          = R$98,000,000
}}
'''The Kids Are Dead and We Ran Out of Soy Milk''' is a [[Radictistan|Radictistani]] dark comedy film released in 2010 directed by Piet Vodnik. The film's story follows a policeman who hates his job and keeps trying to get himself fired so as to obtain a severance package. The film is considered a satire on {{wp|Police_misconduct|police misconduct}}. The film was controversial for its depiction of violence, including violence against children, for comedic effect. However, the film was a great success at the Radictistani box office. 
==Plot==
Kurt Kramm (Josef Kellermann), a Sergeant of the West Haville Constabulary in the Republic of Roatia, is unhappy with his job. He hates doing paperwork, he hates the feel of his cheap uniform, and he has been passed over for promotion to Inspector. Kurt decides he wants to leave the Constabulary.

While working late one night he discovers that all police officers in Roatia are entitled to a generous severance package if dismissed from their jobs. Kurt decides that he will do everything in his power to get fired.

Kurt starts by deliberately misplacing evidence for an important upcoming trial. His supervisor, Chief Inspector Hevy (Viktor Manslo), is unconcerned about the loss. He orders Kurt to give false testimony in court to ensure a conviction. Kurt sees an opportunity for dismissal and tells a reporter after the trial that he had lied under oath, confident that the ensuing bad publicity would force the West Haville Constabulary to fire him. The story does not see print and Kurt is praised within the Constabulary for doing "whatever it took" to ensure that the defendant, a serial child molester, was put behind bars.

Discouraged by his lack of success, Kurt decides that he has to try more drastic means. He pulls over a driver for speeding, orders the man out of his car, and then proceeds to beat him with a nightstick for several minutes. A number of bystanders capture the incident on their phones' cameras. A stream of talk radio hosts, police union officials, and members of the public come to Kurt's defense, arguing that the driver must have done something to warrant the beating off-camera.

Kurt desperately tries other things: driving his car into an old woman crossing the street, launching CS gas against blind protesters demanding better funding for the visually impaired, embezzling money from the Constabulary to buy illegal drugs which he distributes publicly, and punching Chief Inspector Hevy in the face at random. All efforts fail.

Kurt goes home dejected one evening and begins drinking heavily. After exhausting his supply of beer, vodka, whisky, and various household chemicals, he downs a quart of soy milk thinking it is something alcoholic. Kurt becomes enraged at his lack of success and the "ingratitude" of his superiors for not firing him.

Kurt goes through his house breaking everything in sight before getting in his car and driving across town. After several near accidents he comes by an orphanage. Kurt gets out of his car, bringing with him his service pistol as well as an assault rifle. He enters the institution and begins firing wildly, killing a number of the children living there. He stops only after running out of ammunition.

Other police arrive and Kurt confesses to the murders. They do not believe him. The next day Kurt returns to work where Inspector Hevy congratulates him for "rooting out the criminal elements in advance." Kurt is promoted to Inspector and promised a large bonus. Kurt returns home in good cheer, telling his wife that "the kids are dead and we ran out of soy milk."

==Cast==
* Josef Kellermann as Sergeant Kurt Kramm
* Viktor Manslo as Chief Inspector Pavel Hevy
* Mary Lillienthal as Eva Kramm

==Production==
Principal photography took place in the Municipality of Hekdem in [[Yestingsur]]. Some interior scenes were shot at Hirsfer Studios. The film was the first by director Piet Vodnik to use the then new [[Wotan Zwei (camera)|Wotan Zwei]] [[wp:Digital_cinematography|digital video]] camera with 2.8K resolution.

==Release==
===Critical reception===
The film received mixed reviews. The [[Radictistan Times]] applauded its satirical take on the dangers of a police state. Other newspapers published less laudatory reviews. The [[Nuxenstat Word]] faulted the script for an over-reliance on violent imagery as a source for humor.
===Box office===
''The Kids Are Dead and We Ran Out of Soy Milk'' earned over R$98 million from domestic screenings, close to four times its production budget of R$25.3 million. There was no international release as the film's subject matter was deemed offensive to foreign audiences.
[[Category:Radictistani films]]