Paquador

Banana Republic of Paquador República Bananera del Paquador (Spanish)
Flag
Motto: "Patria o la Tumba" "Fatherland or the grave"
Anthem: Paquador!
Capital and largest city	Concepción
Official languages	Spanish
Religion (2019)	95% Catholic
Demonym(s)	Paquadorian
Government	Banana republic
• President	Waldo Gustavo Prat
Legislature	Military junta
Independence from Spain
• Declared	14 May 1811
Population
• 2018 estimate	4,711,000
GDP (PPP)	2019 estimate
• Per capita	$1,307
GDP (nominal)	2019 estimate
• Per capita	$2,067
Currency	Peso (PAP)
Time zone	UTC-4 (UTC)
• Summer (DST)	UTC-3 (UTC)
Driving side	right
Calling code	+595
ISO 3166 code	PQ
Internet TLD	.pq

Paquador, officially the Banana Republic of Paquador (Spanish: República Bananera del Paquador), is a small, landlocked country in South America.

With a population of 4 million people Paquador is the smallest nation in South America in terms of both area and population. It has one of the worlds poorest and smallest economies with 90% of its people liveing below the poverty line. It has a high corruption rating as well as the worst income equality rating in the world. The nation's economy is primarily agricultural. Paquadorian society has extremely stratified social classes, with a large impoverished lower and working class which is primarily agricultural and rural based, and a ruling-class plutocracy, composed of the business, political and military elites of society. Wealth is concentrated in the country's urban centers and in the hands of a few prominent families. Due to this Paquador is the birthplace of the pejorative term "banana republic" .

Following independence from Spain at the beginning of the 19th century, Paquador was ruled by a series of authoritarian governments who generally implemented nationalist, isolationist and protectionist policies. In the early 1900's the country entered a period of military dictatorships, that lasted until 1992. This marked the beginning of the "democratic era" of Paquador. Throughout its history Paquador has consistently endured much social strife and political instability, and remains one of the poorest countries in the Western Hemisphere and is notable for never having a single peaceful handover of power throughout its 200 years of history.

Paquador is famous for having the worlds longest national anthem, the highest number of coups throughout its history as well as having guinea pig as the nations favourite dish. Its national football team is more famous for their horrendous haircuts than their skill at the game and the country has a navy despite being completely landlocked.

Economy

Bananas are Paquador's main exports.

A ship picking up Paquadorian bananas for export.

Main industries: timber, fruits, gold

Latin America's poorest economy, Paquador is on the brink of economic collapse. With few natural resources, there is almost no foreign investment. The economy has little to no diversification, focusing solely on single commodities which have varied over the last decades. Almost the entire economy is propped up by the agricultural sector making it extremely vulnerable to natural disasters.

Poverty and corruption levels are crippling. Government debt is likely to have surpassed 120% of GDP and climbing, and inflation is beginning to become unmanageable as a result. Despite considerable gold deposits, there is a lack of investment to extract and what is mined is only exported when the government needs to fund more military expenses.

Paquador depends heavily on foreign assistance to finance development projects and to pay public staff. At the end of 2002, the government owed $4.5 billion to its foreign creditors, with $1.6 billion of this amount owed to other governments and most of the balance owed to multilateral development banks.

Government and Politics

Administrative divisions

Paquador consists of 9 departments (Spanish: departamentos). The nine deparments are:

• Amazonas
• Concepción
• Corrientes
• El Oro
• La Libertad
• Madre de Dios
• Misiones
• Santa Cruz
• Valverde

The departments are further divided into districts (distritos).

Legislative branch

The National Congress (Congreso Nacional) is the legislature of Paquador. The congress is bicameral, the lower house is the 60 seat Chamber of Deputies (Cámara de Diputados) and the higher house is the 30 seat Senate (Senado).

Seats are divided as following, the ruling party gains two thirds and the opposition party gains a third. However, in effect, the congress is a mere rubber stamping institution which masquerades as a democratic institution.

All real legislative power lies with the ruling military junta at the time which usually consists of the head of each branch of the National Guard.

Political parties

Only two parties are allowed. The governing Progressive Liberal Party and the opposition Nationalist Liberal Party. In effect both parties are the same and are both run by the ruling government to give the impression of democracy.

Military

A M4 Sherman tank of the National Guard during a coup, 1979.

The National Guard (Spanish: Guardia Nacional, otherwise known as la Guardia GN) is a militia and a gendarmerie. It acts as both the armed forces and police force of Paquador which gives it huge influence in society. It is notorious for human rights abuses and corruption. It regular interferes in politics. It consists of 25,000 officers and enlisted men.

The majority of its weaponry consists of US-made surplus 'hand-me-downs' from both world wars, Korea and Vietnam, partially supplemented by more modern equipment either donated or sold by Israel, Spain, Argentina and South Africa.

The Guardia fields a small armoured corps of which the inventory consists mostly of World War II-vintage American vehicles acquired in the 1950s – ten ex-Philippine Army M4A3 E8 (76) and M4A3E8 (105) Sherman tanks, four M3A1 Stuart light tanks, forty-five T17E1 M6 Staghound armoured cars of Israeli origin (some had their turrets removed and replaced by a 30. or 50. cal Browning HMG mount instead). And fifty M9 half-tracks.

The main rifle is the M16 rifle.

It consists of 5 branches; army, navy, air force, special forces, national police

Army

12,500 belong to the Army

Navy

The National Guard Navy (Marina de Guerra de la Guardia Nacional, MG-GN) has about 1,000 sailors and ratings who man ten Israeli Dabur-1 class patrol boats. It also consists of 1000 marines.

Air Force

The Air Force of the National Guard (Fuerza Aérea de La Guardia Nacional, FAGN) is comprised 0f 1,500 Officers and enlisted men.

National Police

The Policia Nacional – Guardia Nacional (PNGN, National Police of the National Guard) is a municipal constabulary numbering some 9,000–10,000 male and female uniformed constables. Most of its lightly-armed personnel are concentrated in the main urban centres on police duties, or assigned to the Brigadas Especiales contra Actos de Terrorismo (BECAT, Special Counter-insurgency Brigades).

BECAT is an urban rapid-reaction, anti-terrorist unit closely modelled on SWAT, whose members usespecial camouflage uniforms and Israeli helmets and flak vests, being armed with Uzi SMGs, M-16s, pump-action shotguns and sniper rifles. Recognizable by their M38A1 MD Jeeps equipped with vehicular beacons, sirens and wire cutters installed on the front bumper, and painted in blue-and-white National Police markings, BECAT teams are frequently employed in raids in urban slums in search for hidden guerrillas, and quickly earned an unenviable reputation for brutality.

Special Forces

The Basic Infantry Training School (Spanish: Escuela Entrenamiento Básico De Infantería, EEBI) fields some 2,000–2,500 elite counter-insurgency troops, comprising Commandos (a.k.a. the "Black Berets")

Intelligence

The Technical Division for the Prevention of Delinquency (Spanish:División Técnica para la Prevención de la Delincuenci DTPD, is the intelligence agency and secret police of Paquador. It is know to use murder, kidnapping, torture, extorsion and terror to achieve its goals.

Members of DTPD are known as "caliés" (Thugs).

Culture

The toco toucan is Paquador's national bird.

Cuisine

Cuy asado (grilled guinea pig)

The traditional staples of Paquadorian cuisine are corn, potatoes, quinoa and beans. These ingredients have been combined with a number of staples brought by the Spanish, such as rice and wheat. Meat comes from indigenous animals like alpacas and cuy (guinea pigs), but also from imported livestock like sheep, chicken, cattle and swine. A wide variety of fresh fruit is available, including bananas, tree-grapes, and peach-palms.

Sport

The most popular sport in Paquador, as in most South American countries, is football. Its best known professional team is El Nacional from Concepción which is also the most successful football team in Paquador having never lost a single game in the domestic league. The matches of the Paquadorian national football team are the most-watched sporting events in the country.

Estadio Nacional after the 1973 Paquadorian coup d'état.

The national team play their games at the National Stadium (Estadio Nacional) which, between games is used as a detention facility for political prisoners.