The Holy Book of Klyprer
The Holy Book of Klyprer is the main religious text of the Order of Klyprer, detailing many of the rituals and beliefs of the religion. The Order of Klyprer is one of the main religions in the Ice States. Believed to have been founded around the year 50, the Order of Klyprer was the dominant religion during the Empire regime in the Ice States, and was heavily promoted by said regime. The book contains a total of eleven pages. The dragon on the front cover was also used as the flag for the Ice Liberation Front, the force which founded the Empire of the Ice States by removing the Secular Republic of Icelandia regime.
Text
First page
This holy book of Klyprer recounts the totality of knowledge regarding Klyprer, the great Icelandi deity – Klyprer, our lord and founder of the cosmos. All who read this are enlightened but not to trifle with the holy contents of this book. For those who refuse to accept Klyprer for the great divine being he is, are committing a grave sin, and lose all divine protection to a life of eternal suffering and damnation.
This book is the holy word of Klyprer, inscribed by the loyal Divine Scribe. Should you be loyal to Klyprer, you shall follow his word. None may alter or fabricate his divine word or alter this book. Those who do are not true believers in Klyprer, for only the Divine Scribe can know the wishes of Klyprer to its full extent, but rather, practitioners of heresy, a sin as grave as doubt. You shall not doubt, ignore, or contravene Klyprer or his commands and words.
By reading this book, you are asserting your belief in Klyprer, and for that, you shall be rewarded, saving you wilfully sin. Sin can be controlled, and a true believer avoids sin at all costs. He understands the divine nature and strength of Klyprer, and may Klyprer’s favour befall him.
Now, should you understand and accept all hereinbefore, may you proceed with good luck. Should you not, be reminded of what you represent and the eternal divine misfortune awaiting you.
Second page
I, Klyprer, was but another of the godly kin, until I had a vision. I saw a new society formed like the one I was in, and I could have supreme power. I could make sure everything occurred to my will, and watch the society grow and thrive. And so, I made the world, and carved humans in Icelandia out of stone. And you, Icelandi peoples, shall form the world, but under two conditions _
While not complex, they have been repeatedly disobeyed. I do not forgive violators of these conditions. Noone is to fail to worship me as the lord of the cosmos. You are all to obey my command at all times, regardless of convenience or your own wishes. Swallow the bitter pill, for I am real.
These demands, while clear, has not been perfectly met. When a warrior of Stonegrad poisoned a King of with leaves of hemlock, the King’s country waged war on Stonegrad, against my command for forgiveness as the warrior maintained no intent to kill the King, me knowing what would happen if the war occurred. The country’s war ended with the killing of the country’s women and children, and I was forced to rebuild the city from stone. As punishment, I made Stonegrad lose the war, causing the death of Stonegrad’s king.
Another incident of noncompliance was shown in the wilful disobedience of my explicit command for the resignation of Stonegrad’s succeeding king shortly after this war, after he killed his family for their belief in me. I punished the king by condemning both him and his family to a life in the caves of Ormont.
To maintain compliance, I decided that I am to have a Divine Scribe, I am to regularly appoint. And I appointed as the first Divine Scribe, Marcell Habeeb, who has faithfully written this book to purvey my command to all the Icelandi peoples. Your reading of this book is already showing your devotion to me, and I thank you. If that is not your intent, you have not that.
Third page
The first demand is not difficult, but it is important. For the nonbelievers, I wish to inform you that I have repeatedly shown human form to speak, and that is how I got the first Divine Scribe. I have taken form as the sun, as a tree, as a cloud, as a king. In all times, I have spoken to men.
In the year of 27, I became Azrael Gaius, and went down to Icelandia after relentless fighting between warring tribes. I led mediation efforts and revealed myself as the almighty. When I made peace, with all going to see the lord Gaius, I was made King of Stonegrad. I was both denounced as a madman and respected as a leader of men. Those who denounced me as a madman attempted to incinerate my home. I held back the fire, and made the assassin fall dead. Years later, I resigned as king and disappeared, for I had rebuilt Icelandia to a believer’s state. For now, you know the importance of belief.
It is your duty to promote and build compliance with the first demand. Otherwise, the world will be filled with nonbelievers. In such an event, apocalypse may befall you all, naturally or by my will. You are not to sympathise with any nonbelievers. You are to do everything in your power to make nonbelievers believe in me and my goodwill.
It is impossible for even one as me to express the importance of belief. Only as a believer can you even ask for my favour or communicate with me. I will later detail the importance and manner of communication to me, but it requires belief to be able to do so. No other supposed deity or entity can provide you favour as I can, nor can any other entity cause harm to befall sinners as I can.
Fourth page
There are many ways that you can show your devotion to me as your deity. You can kneel with your hands over your head and pray to me. You can ask the Divine Scribe to communicate with me. You can force a nonbeliever, goat, or pig into the sea. You are to attend and pray at a sacrifice at least annually, show your belief thusly.
If you communicate with me, then I can favour you and help you. While if you only comply with the first and second demands, then I will still help you, I cannot do so as effectively if you do not ask me for help. But if you ask me for help, do not ask another deity, as worship of other deities is only a form of disbelief.
While praying and communication may be important, they are still optional. The second demand is not. And for that, I may take physical form as any natural entity, including as a person. But do not despair, for the Chief Scribe is to always know and inform you all if I take physical form.
Every leadership of men is to promote me as their leader and belief in me, which is to be another component of promotion. I ask you, Chief Scribe, to tell the King Cataline of Icelandia, to spread this book in the nation.
My commands are not arbitrary, capricious, inoperative, unnecessary, malevolent, or dictatorial. They are to ensure that the world remains home to an orderly, benevolent, clean, devotional, and positive society. It is thus important that all comply with all my demands, both the first and second demands.
Fifth page
While the first demand is important, the second demand is also important. If you follow the first demand, you should also follow the second or you are a permanent sinner. Compliance with the second demand – which, again, involves not capricious or unnecessary laws – is expected for those seeking my favour.
I may take form as any natural entity, such as a part of the environment or even as a human When I do, any commands I make will be public and the Divine Scribe is to be responsible for ensuring that all know it.
There are also statutory vices and sins which I may detail in this book due to their fixed and immutable nature. By reading this book, you may be enlightened to the examples of these statutory sins.
Statutory sins range from those to uphold ideals of family and the strength of the familial bond, to those to ensure order and peace, to those to prevent false belief and maintain my authority.
All that continues with regards to statutory sins are part of the second divine demand, which is as important as the first, but requires compliance with the first. If you are not compliant with the first demand, then there is no reason that you need to continue reading this. However, even if you are noncompliant, I will not stop you from understanding the nature of statutory sins, as maybe then you are to understand my benevolence and the importance of respect for me as the divine lord of the cosmos.
Sixth page
You are to refrain from any violent vices towards any believers. You shall not kill, wilfully injure, or otherwise physically abuse any other believer. Nor are you to seek to do the same.
If you are under authority of a believer, you are to comply with all of their demands while under their authority. And yes, this is another reason that authorities should believe, promote, and abide by my holy law, beside that failure for an authority to do so is itself a statutory sin.
Now, you are to refrain from sexual vices. Sexual acts are to remain between married couples of a man and a woman. Homosexuality, adultery, paedophilia, fornication, and bestiality are all vices and sins. The state of being born to any of these is, in itself, a sin. Further, one may not engage in sexual intimacy with an adult whom they are not formally married to if married to any other, and sexual intimacy with minors, members of the same sex, and animals, are sins.
As you are to respect me as your god, you may not curse, loathe, or otherwise take any rage on me. I am benevolent, and need not incur your anger, and you shall never show wrath at me if you accept me for the power which I hold and exercise. Another statutory sin is any standing belief against my holiness, but this sin may be repented for, as well as wrath against me.
Seventh page
I commanded my faithful Divine Scribe to write this book on the year 50 – 50 years since I created the world. The first day of the 50th year, was when I made this command. And each year, you are to show your respect of the first Divine Scribe, Marcell Habeeb, by fasting on the first day of each year. You are to abstain from eating, drinking, intercourse, or purchase on this day.
And the year of 100, which will be when an asteroid will fall into the sea at Stonegrad, is when I will appoint my next Divine Scribe. Each 50 years, I will continue to appoint one. Only the latest Divine Scribe shall know, and he will serve for those 50 years. I will only appoint the greatest preacher of the Order of Klyprer each term alive, but this great and devoted man will make sure that my great and paramount demands – both the first and second – are met by all humans, whom I trust enough to comply, and give them my favour in return for compliance.
In the 6th month of the 6th day, was when I first had the vision that led me to create the world. Important is this day to me and the world – for it led me to become who I am known as today – that you must offer me a sign of gratitude, caprine or nonbeliever flesh on a ceramic cup outdoors, lest you loathe the world as my brethren.
However, not only is you to sacrifice, so am I. I am to provide you six months of summer, in which the crops will grow, and you will have plentiful resources and food to enjoy for your own benefit and happiness. I do end the famines you are enduring through so.
Eighth page
Sin began when my brother made a first lion. The lion ravaged a city, and in fighting the lion, a man shot a bow intended at the lion, but at a woman of the city. The man committed the first sin, and, trapped in hubris, preached to the city no need to obey me. The tradition spread, and so sin began.
Sin has not always been so. The hero of Ardis was young, only 17, when his family died. He travelled to the underworld and returned his family and Ardis to the living universe. Together, the family preached forgiveness and compliance through their city, and cleansed it of sin. It was, in fact, his son who would become the first Divine Scribe. I dearly hope that you will also work to heroism too.
And I made more men to believe, preach, and fight sin, but it is up to you for the fight against sin to win. Do not fall into the deadly and murderous trap of Ahtacaba, the bringer of sin, and his servant, whose name is a curse and is to remain secret to prevent it from falling into the wrong hands. This is precisely why my first and second demands are so important.
I hope that I have enlightened you sufficiently to avoid sin, but if not, I hope that this will persuade you. You shall not die as a sinner, but you will remain alive until eternity, and so unable to move. You will remain in eternal agony, as you are deprived of any pleasure or your needs. You will only remain alive with eternal suffering. However, if you are not a sinner, I will take you to the underworld, a perfect utopia full of infinite pleasure and cleansed of any sin. Taking one’s life, or inciting another to take yours, is itself a sin, and you will not travel to the underworld should you do so.
Ninth page
For resurrection to work, the dead must be buried in a sacred place – a temple. Any other method of body disposal is sinful, and strips any person of the chance to go to the underworld. However, it does not prevent extinct sinners from enduring an afterlife of eternal suffering. You are to refrain from disposing of a body in any manner other than what I stipulate in this book.
Now, a temple is simply a large house where prayers, sacrifices, and rituals can be performed and organised. A temple must have an arena of seats for prayers and rituals, and an outdoors altar for sacrifices. The dead are to be buried in an outdoor place surrounding the altar. All these components – the arena, the altar, and the burial space – make up the temple. Temples may have no other components.
Marriage is also to occur at a temple. To marry, a man must publicly kiss a woman at the front of an arena of a temple. A prayer must then be made by the woman, saying the following _
I am to forever love and live with this man,
I pledge to have children,
I pledge to comply with all divine commands,
And I understand that failure to do so will lead to an afterlife of eternal suffering,
But I understand that I may see the underworld should I comply, be I not already a sinner,
So, help me, Lord of the Cosmos,
Forever.
Attendants at the arena are to repeat “Forever” after this prayer has completed, after which a female goat is to be sacrificed at the altar.
Tenth page
I will always be at the Icelandi’s side. Even when the curse befalls The Ice States that Ahtacaba shall cause a crisis one day, an unstoppable curse made by my side long ago to destroy the world and destroy my authority in the world, including your belief, I shall keep the Icelandi peoples safe and protected by my rule, forever and until the neverend of the world.
To maximise the ability of me to protect the world, war should be waged to promote belief in my authority. No matter what means you use – labour, death, terror – I will support your fight against sin and violation of my command, divine demand. And the Icelandi peoples shall be eternal, more than any other peoples.
When the curse befalls the world, you may – and I urge to – do this too. And too you may in any other crisis you face, whether premature resignation of the Divine Scribe, hunger, or internal or the foreign metal blade of pain-death.
My demands are important. They are the only way that you can make it from any crisis, natural or by cause of Ahtacaba. Not only will I artificially punish you, but the world will suffer and die at your hands. Is that the legacy you seek? The bringer of misfortune, all because of your failure to comply with my almighty divine being? Instead, be enlightened by me, this book, the Divine Scribe, and receive my eternal grace and protection even after you die.
Eleventh page
There was a planet once. A planet of my stone. Slowly, human beings began to be carved, and the world formed. I named the area Icelandia, and wished the peoples on it good luck. I became a stoneman, and a stoneman came to me. He took paper, write did he the text you are reading, but on my behalf and my command, with my orders. I, Klyprer, lord of the cosmos.
I hope that you will carry on his legacy, and pursue goodwill, piety, and devotion to his holy word. Thank you, and may good luck be with you. If you try to avoid sin, you will not sin. Sin, no matter in what forms, is always a choice, and an avoidable one. You can save and help the world should you refrain from these vices and sins. This book precisely exists to help you do so.
Once again, thank you, and may good luck be with you forever, believer.
~Klyprer,
Lord of the Cosmos,
Written on my behalf by the faithful,
Marcell Habeeb
External references
Images of each original page of the Holy Book, Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4 Page 5 Page 6 Page 7 Page 8 Page 9 Page 10 Page 11
Archived original forum thread, link