Inyurstan Lolcows

This page refers to a number of individuals of Inyurstan nationality who have gained internet fame or notoriety due to their status as "lolcows". These individuals are not public officials, or traditional celebrities and are generally considered to wield no legal, cultural or monetary influence what so ever.

Jose Impendido

Jose Regu Impendido de Seveu is a NEET known for his outspoken atheism, anime loli fetish and inability to stop posting his L's to Setsuzoku. For the most part, he fit the bill of "neckbeard", minus his skinny physical stature. Jose is a confirmed wearer of a fedora.

Jose's picture according to his Setz account

Politics

While he has never ran for office, nor has plans to, or has even voted for that matter, Jose is known for his political rants. Key tenents to his beliefs can be summarized as: 1) State Atheism, 2) Free Housing, 3) Free Food, 4) Universal Basic Income and 5) Government-mandated girlfriends. All concepts, such as the 2022 Bashriyyan Invasion of Sugogo and Nifonese Spheres of Influence all relate to Jose's need for free stuff and a government-mandated harem.

Housing Troubles

First indications of Jose's housing troubles came from Jose himself posting to Setsuzoku complaining about his mother and announcing his plans to move into a "gamer pad" with four of his "bros". A unverified user claiming to be a friend of Jose's mother posted to iPaturago.iy, according to this anon the reason Jose was kicked out of the house was for showing his younger sister loli material.

After being kicked from his family house, he moved in with four other young men. Full names, ages and identities of the other men are not known; but all evidence indicates that they were also into video games, anime and quite possibly atheism. While suitable, this arrangement only lasted so long as their collective (non-existent) income could pay the rent - which was all of four months.

Jose is believed to have moved into a group home for transients operated by a local church; to which he demonstrated his gratitude by doubling down on his anti-Christian posts on Setz. However, Jose was not content to keep his housing arrangement in a location which did not allow his anime loli "materials"; and so he left. There is some question of whether or not Jose sexually harassed female staff - but while it seems in character concrete evidence of this is minimal. He is currently resides on the couch in a basement of one of his "bros"

Details

Type	Most Active	Likes	Dislikes	Weaknesses
Neckbeard	Setsuzoku	Anime, Lolis, Atheism, Younger women	His mom, Christianity, Inyursta, The Bible, Chads	Chads, Rejection from women, His mom

Miguel "Vixienne" DeChambeu

Miguel Jean-Faiso DeChambeu Ketant, self-named "Vixienne", is a prominent pro-gender activist known for litigation, obnoxious public reactions to court rulings and being a known sexpest.

"Vixienne" after forgetting to shave for a few days

Public Breakdowns

Prior to adopting a "gender identity" Miguel's first recorded public breakdown was in a pastry shop in Nuveau Lyon, wherein Miguel went on an angry tirade about women's expectations of male height after being kindly rejected by the woman at the counter. He then proceeded to toss his cream cheese ensymada, bang on the glass and tip over tables on his way out the door screaming about the "injustices" faced by shorter men. Miguel was not aware that he was being recorded at this time.

Miguel's most well-known breakdown came in the wake of the Inyurstan Courte de Finàle ruling in Pólèrmo et Iglesias vs Departément D'Éducaçion (2018), citing that certain medical and biological courses in the public university system were allowed use language deemed derogatory about the LGBTQ+ community. In this case, several witnesses recorded Miguel jumping up and down in a fountain while screaming, with unknown stains on his light pink dress. It was at this point when Miguel reached "internet fame", and shortly after iPaturago.iy user u.locolemonknight69 was able to verify that the same person screaming in the fountain was in fact the same one who threw a tantrum over the pastryshop rejection.

Details

Type	Most Active	Likes	Dislikes	Weaknesses
Gendercow	Real Life	Female spaces, Gender, Teenage girls, Athletic women, Feminine clothes	Jean-Baptiste Calderone, Inyursta, The Inyurstan Language, Christianity, Biology, His height	The Inyurstan Courte de Finàle, Other males

Martino "Madcap" Uclese

Martino de Paoul Uclese, known by his personna "Madcap" is a right-wing miltia wannabe specializing in conspiracy theories, canned foods and spending his money on guns. So intense is his spending spree, that his wife actually left him and took their kids over financial reasons. His social media site of choice is actually his own website (which he also pays bimonthly to maintain, despite it looking like a 90's html project), where he rants daily on everything from basic home defense, to insane "booby trap" concoctions, and finally loony theories about secret pedo cabals. A key feature that led Martino to negative e-fame is that he is prone to posting "combat" videos of himself, and sometimes his cousin and the random pothead they rent a room to, fighting off perceived "assassination attempts" - which usually just includes him standing at the window shooting at stationary, blurry silhouttes in the dark.

Martino poses with a fully automatic weapon

Details

Type	Most Active	Likes	Dislikes	Weaknesses
Conspiracy Theorist	Personal Forum	Guns, Home Defense, Coalition Inyursta Primiero	Globalism, Leftists,	Divorce Courts

Kayla Jernandez

Michaela "Kayla" Louise Jernandez is a 26 year-old Inyurstan woman who gained notoriety for her sexual obsession with Nifonese Shogun Maki Kojiro. An "aspiring writer", Kayla first gained notoriety for her romantic magnum opus "Saving Myself for the Shogun"

Writings

As mentioned before, her most notorious work was "Saving Myself for the Shogun"; a romance "fiction" with no less than 1800 pages of Kalya describing an utterly fantastical scenario in which she is courted by Maki Kojiro. Included in this work of self-wishing is a litany of dates that Maki takes her on, culminating in a wedding scene (afterwhich the book basically turns to smut). Stranger yet, is that the book includes scenes with Kayla herself sitting down and talking to international leaders and influencing global geopolitics - though she doesn't seem to know much about the subject, or even what Wenchuan is.

A second book soon followed, titled "

Kayla then decided to write a screenplay named "Maki and Me" about a romance between herself and Maki Kojiro. "Maki and Me" would star none other than Kayla herself, and - you guessed it - Maki Kojiro. Why she thought the Shogun of Nifon would stop his normal day job and come star in her movie remains a mystery to this day. In an attempt to get her screenplay picked up, she spammed emails to multiple studios and indie directors. All ignored her or declined to to pick up the script.

Catfished to Palmyrion

In September of 2021, Kayla began receiving negative comments on her FictionLoft stories, as well as a flurry of thumbs-down reacts to her Setz posts. The new account, while not explicitly claiming to be the Lakambini, had several details that baited an already paranoid Kayla into believing that this user was the Lakambini (such as location, first name and a profile pic of a lamb wearing a bikini). Unfortunately for her, Kayla took the bait and proceed to call out the account as her imagined arch-rival, the Lakambini. The internet smack-talk and flaming escalated to the point of "The Lakambini" challenging Kayla to a "throw down". With Kayla falling for the troll attempt, she purchased a plane ticket (or more possibly had one of her simps pay for it) bound for Palmyrion, where she honestly expected the Lakambini to be waiting for her to have a potentially physical altercation.

Details

Type	Most Active	Likes	Dislikes	Weaknesses
Psycho Woman	FictionLoft.net	Maki Kojiro	The Lakambini	unknown