The Constipation
| Type | Satirical newspaper |
| Format | Broadsheet |
| Editor | "Varanken Bethlehemov" |
| Founded | NMR 2368 |
| Political alignment | Right-wing, pro-Whig Party |
| Language | English, Namorese |
| Circulation | |
Not to be confused with The Constitution.
The Constipation (Namorese: Ласаипо or Lasaipo) is a satirical newspaper that belongs to the Pickle News Network, more famously known as The Pickle. Its sole purpose is to satirize the Luziycan newspaper The Constitution, as its name suggests. It is known for following a broadsheet format extremely similar to that of The Constitution. It has also been reportedly sold alongside The Constitution in newsstands and stores throughout Namor, leading to confusion and lack of ability among some to distinguish between the two.
The Constipation's editor-in-chief is a man named "Varanken Bethlehemov," who is non-existent (the paper does not reveal who actually writes their articles). Its headquarters is supposedly in Bethlehem, although like all other Pickle-affiliated publications it is in Mojing.