Siege of Gothendral

The Siege of Gothendral (Delkoran: Stormen på Gothendral) was a police standoff that occurred in June 1991 in Gothendral, Delkora. The incident began when Marius Lauritzen broke into the Førelskov State House (Førelskov Statshuset) in Gothendral and barricaded himself in an office. As police surrounded the building, Lauritzen made outlandish demands, which attracted media attention and embarrassed the Førelskovian and federal governments.

The standoff ended when Chancellor Ulrik Andersen ordered the Federal Police's Tactical Response Division to storm the State House. When the division broke into the office, they found it empty: Lauritzen had already been lured out of the building by Førelskov State Police and arrested.

The incident took place the day before the 1991 Federal Election, and influenced the result. Andersen's Conservative–Agrarian coalition lost seats, and he was attacked for ordering the building stormed by a TRD unit, an action seen as disproportionate and ridiculous. However, Emma Jørgensen's National Labor also faltered slightly, due to gains by left-wing parties such as the Greens, Communists, and unexpectedly, the United Loony Front, a coalition of joke and single-issue parties. Jørgensen failed to constitute a government, and Andersen remained in office.

The siege was one of the most bizarre incidents in Delkoran history, while its ultimately peaceful resolution and Lauritzen's comical demands made also made it famous. It has been depicted in film and referenced in popular culture.

Background

A federal election was due in Delkora in 1991. Due to health issues, Chancellor Lars af Vellarand announced he would not seek another term, and was replaced as chancellor-candidate by interior minister Ulrik Andersen. Vellarand's Conservative–Agrarian coalition had been in office since 1983, during which time it had sought to reverse the New Kingdom program, with limited success.

The Federal Parliament was dissolved in May. Early opinion polls gave a narrow lead to Emma Jørgensen's National Labor, but difficult coalition negotiations were expected. The lead passed repeatedly between Jørgensen and Andersen's parties during the campaign. The Conservatives struggled with public antipathy towards their program, and lingering controversy over the Geirbjørn Feldengaard kidnapping incident in 1989, which had seen the government accused of stonewalling for political purposes.

In response to a jibe Andersen made in Parliament about the "loony left", several joke and single-issue parties formed an electoral alliance, the United Loony Front (Forenet Vanvittige Front). Its name was chosen specifically to have the same acronym as the authoritarian socialist United Leftist Front (Forenet Venstreorienteret Front). The Loonies staged several publicity stunts attacking Andersen over the Feldengaard kidnapping, including parking sound trucks in front of his rallies to play Tone Revolution Dancefest's "Hvem...?".

The election was notable for the high-profile involvement of Delkora's burgeoning grunge and alternative rock scenes in activism, particularly from Gothendral's underground. The last opinion poll of the campaign was published a week before election day, and showed that the Conservatives and National Labor were essentially tied.

Perpetrator

Marius Lauritzen circa 2001

Marius Lauritzen (10 June 1969 – 14 September 2003) was a mathematics student at Førelskov State University in Gothendral and amateur photographer. He was known as a psychedelics enthusiast and unconventional protester. Before the incident, he had been in trouble with university authorities for several pranks he had staged, and had been referred to counselling out of concern for his mental health.

Friends and acquaintances described Lauritzen as gregarious and eccentric. He was passionate about music, particularly rock and psychedelia, and was a fan of Gylian popular culture. Contacted by the media during the standoff, one of his professors commented, "If he'd taken up writing or learning an instrument, I'm not sure this would've happened."

Events

Lauritzen missed classes on 5 June 1991, and spent most of the day in bed. He had been drinking heavily the night before. His roommate found him asleep in the afternoon, and left without disturbing him. He woke up sometime towards the evening, and left the dormitory, buying take-out from a nearby restaurant. He was wearing acid-washed shorts, flip-flops, and a faded purple tie-dyed Jimi Hendrix T-shirt. He then wandered around Gothendral.

Police were unable to establish his whereabouts before the siege, but it is believed he stopped to purchase alcohol, as he had an empty bottle of whiskey on him at the time, as well as a towel and roll of masking tape.

Break-in

A little after 3:00 AM, Lauritzen arrived at the Førelskov State House. He evaded a police officer on patrol, and spent an hour surveying the scene and waiting. He then broke a glass door on the south side with his whiskey bottle, using masking tape and a towel to muffle the noise. Although the building had recently undergone a security upgrade, there were no sensors on the glass doors. The computerised alarm system still registered the building as secure.

Lauritzen made his way into the State House. He wrote two notes for police on office stationery and left them behind. In the main lobby, he rode an elevator up and down for a while before getting off out of fear of surveillance. Around 4:15, he used a pay phone on the fifth floor to call 112, and told the dispatcher, "The State House is occupied and you will find a note by the door." The dispatcher alerted Førelskov State Police, which sent two officers and a police dog to investigate. Upon arrival, the officers failed to find the broken door, assumed the report was false, and left.

Lauritzen continued walking around the empty building, at some point discarding his shorts and flip-flops. On the fourth floor, he found the Førelskov Assembly's security office, whose door had been left unlocked by a painting crew the previous evening. He entered the office and barricaded the door behind him, shoving a leather couch behind the wooden doors.

He found himself in a suite of two administrative offices and a small kitchen. He explored the two rooms, finding a box of cigars, a stash of liquor bottles, and wafers, which he ate. Crucially, he also found a computer connected to the internet, through Delkora's NREN and the Commonet. He made coffee in the kitchen, then returned to the main room, where he poured a glass of bourbon and lit a cigar.

Media alerted

Lauritzen began preparing a list of demands towards dawn. He also turned on the computer, and accessed the Commonet, finding his way to the GUNET. He faxed his list of demands to the song request line of X107, a local rock station. He tried to call the police, but gave up due to a busy line. Instead, he called the office of Gothendral's alternative weekly, which first learned of the occupation.

Monika Riis, a custodian at the State House, came to the fourth floor around 7:15, where she discovered Lauritzen's shorts and flip-flops, as well as a number of knocked-over information signs and ornamental books strewn about the lobby. She unlocked the door of the security office, but couldn't open it. Startled, Lauritzen threw his whiskey bottle at the door, where it smashed and splashed Riis. She panicked and retreated to the third floor, finding a co-worker, and together they reported the incident to the police. She was given medical attention and excused for the rest of the day.

Lauritzen phoned the Førelskov State Police again. The operator recalled him "rambling about how society needed to wake up and stop being automatons". He told them his demands, and mentioned the written list had been faxed to X107, causing an officer to be dispatched to retrieve it. Among other things, he asked for: a large vegetarian pizza, a case of Akashian beer, a carton of cigarettes, ⊻100 worth of Quenminese food, a police band scanner, a DBS news crew within an hour, and 666 donuts "for my fine friends in the Gothendral Police Department".

Standoff

The Førelskov State Police evacuated the State House and surrounded it. They didn't know if Lauritzen was armed or had a hostage, and proceeded cautiously. They were concerned by the end of his list of demands: "It would not be advisable to enter the building as you have no hard data concerning the # of hostiles and their weaponry." A police negotiator was brought in, who made contact with Lauritzen on the phone. To win his trust, the police fulfilled two of the demands: they brought pizza and cigarettes. On his instructions, they were thrown through the fourth floor window with an improvised catapult. He thanked them for the delivery, then panicked and dragged a bookshelf in front of the window.

Lauritzen had demanded to talk on the telephone with certain people, and the police got him in contact with Kol Vossgaard. Vossgaard spoke with Lauritzen, who told him he wanted to protest against poverty, homelessness, and cuts to higher education. Vossgaard failed to get any information about his occupation of the building. Speaking to the media later, he described Lauritzen as "a confused young man with good intentions".

Emboldened by his conversation with Vossgaard, Lauritzen pressed on with his plan to garner media attention for his protest. He called in to a show on X107, and was put on the air. The host, unaware of the situation, assumed he was a prank caller and played along. Lauritzen treated the call as a rehearsal of sorts, using the host's questions to prepare for his statement.

Some time around 9:00, the DBS news crew requested had arrived. Lauritzen spoke to them by phone, and demanded that they broadcast his demands live. The news crew agreed, as news of the incident was already spreading and the State Police feared a hostage situation. An employee of the State House was brought in and connected Lauritzen by phone to the building's loudspeaker system. When the live transmission began, Lauritzen made a rambling, profanity-laden statement:

"Am I on?... I'm on?... Everyone, we have a message. We have an announcement to make. Stop living like robots, and take a look around. Ask yourself, why is there poverty? Poverty sucks, man. Why do we still have poverty? Delkora is fucking rich! How can there still be people who don't have enough to eat, or a place to sleep? It's a disgrace, by the Æsir! Why is the government treating students like criminals? Why are they trying to starve universities, when professors do more good for the world than the rich? It's the nineties, things should not still be crap! It's outrageous. Delkora must abolish poverty, fuck The Man, and eliminate everything that prevents us from solving our problems. Oh, what in Loki's balls—"

Lauritzen briefly put down the phone, distracted by something in the office. DBS cut off the live transmission, and attempted to talk him into surrendering, or at least find out if there were hostages. Lauritzen simply replied, "I'm hungry", and began eating pizza.

Media coverage

The DBS report made the incident news throughout Delkora. One of the anchors described it as "a siege in Gothendral", and the "Siege of Gothendral" moniker stuck. Other media outlets dispatched their own reporters to the scene, and curious residents also began arriving near the State House, which caused difficulties for the State Police.

Lauritzen heard and noticed the growing crowds outside, and changed strategy. He encouraged a media circus, and spent the remainder of the standoff making outlandish demands and declarations, seeking to draw attention to his cause and embarrass the government through Situationist tactics. He used the GUNET to find and print pages related to Gylias' 1990 federal election, using the platforms of the LSD Party, Love, Nature, Democracy, and National Reconstruction Alliance for inspiration.

The State Police allowed other reporters to try to speak with Lauritzen, hoping they might uncover more information. During one conversation, Lauritzen was told First Minister Phaedra Thorup had condemned the siege in insulted terms. Irritated, he replied, "Thorup should hold a press conference and eat shit on live television! She already spews so much of it talking I suspect she donated her ass for an organ transplant!" Soon after, a media circus occurred at Thorup's office, forcing her to comment that she would not fulfill the demand.

Andersen interrupted campaigning to fly back to Norenstal for an emergency cabinet meeting. Meanwhile, the State Police sent a team to sweep the State House, to determine how much of it was under siege. The operation lasted several hours.

Lauritzen spent the rest of the day drinking, smoking, and calling and faxing various media outlets and radio stations, making declarations at regular intervals to keep the story going. His demands included:

• DBS should be sold off to GNBS. After all, DBS was at its best when Gylians were in charge of it.
• The Royal Academy of Music should provide mandatory music education to hair metal bands.
• The Labor Underground should become the Labor Overground.
• The Royal Delkoran Armed Forces should provide free healthcare for everyone.
• The Royal Language Academy must create better swear words for Delkoran. How come English has better swear words? It's an outrage.
• Federal Police should crack down on the real menace to society: cocaine-addicted stock traders.
• Imposition of an undress code in the Federal Parliament.
• End discrimination against the tattooed.
• Force rich Delkorans to wear signs in public reading "I'm a greedy bastard who wants to kill the poor".
• Ban calling criminal organisations "syndicates". It's insulting to trade unions. Call them "corporations" instead. After all, a corporation is just a gang with better lawyers.
• Stop pretending there's a single Delkoran language. Send linguists to study each state's languages seriously.
• Reallocate defense spending to the arts, in preparation for a Delkoran Invasion.
• Find out who took Geirbjørn's pipe already.
• Conscript the jarls as first ministers' huskarle.

One commentator noted that virtually all of his demands were tailored to amuse those watching the news and cause maximum embarrassment to the government. For instance, the DBS and RDAF demands attacked the Vellarand government's record on privatisation, conflicts with DBS, and attempts to increase defense spending while calling the welfare state unsustainable.

Lauritzen demanded to speak with Moana Pozzi, a minister without portfolio in the Mathilde Vieira government, and unexpectedly got her on the phone. The two had a surreal conversation, Lauritzen speaking in heavily-accented English, while Moana spoke Italian and her son Simone translated into English. Lauritzen spoke of his desire to protest against "the thoughtlessness and bullshit in the world"; Moana listened sympathetically and encouraged him, comparing his standoff with her own campaigning in the 1990 federal election. The conversation angered Vellarand, who assumed Moana would try to talk him into surrendering.

Around 14:37, the State Police ended their sweep of the State House, concluding that only the fourth floor was occupied. A Federal Police unit arrived at the scene, under orders from Andersen, who feared a repeat of the Feldengaard kidnapping incident so close to the election. The State Police protested that they had the situation under control and the Federal Police were not needed.

The now-large crowd around the State House hampered the authorities. They lost contact with Lauritzen for a few hours, coincidentally around the time State Police were breaking up a scuffle between Labor Underground and far-right protesters. Lauritzen had simply fallen asleep, but it worried State Police that the occupiers were readying an attack.

Throughout the day, the siege was news across Tyran, and it had notably sympathetic coverage in the Gylian media. Despite Vellarand and Andersen trying to stop him, Lauritzen had several more telephone conversations with notable figures, Delkoran and foreign. Several of these contacted him out of their own initiative, rather than because he demanded to speak with them.

He called the The Havomar Report, which quickly improvised a live interview during which Nils Havomar asked Lauritzen which party he intended to vote for in the upcoming election, to which he replied, "My comrades in the Alliance for Guillotining Monarchs, of course. I mean seriously, how do we still have a fucking king? Are we living in the 1400's or something?" (Although there was not a party by that name at the time, it was later created under the banner of the United Loony Front and received several hundred votes in the 1994 federal election, but failed to win any seats.)

After the interview, he called Eddie Vinther, lead singer of Outlast, and the two chatted about the band's upcoming album. Vinther gave Lauritzen words of encouragement, telling him, "Don't let those cops get you down, man. You do what you think is right. Just be smart." Lauritzen then called the office of the ULF, which offered to nominate him to be the alliance's chancellor-candidate. He declined the offer, citing his ongoing university studies.

At the suggestion of the ULF, Lauritzen demanded to speak to Bente Eriksen, a Communist member of the Førelskov Assembly. The two had a lengthy conversation about drug liberalization, with Eriksen agreeing to introduce legislation in the Assembly directing the state to open free LSD dispensaries for the public. (Eriksen followed through on this promise the following week — her bill was defeated in committee by a vote of 2–15).

Lauritzen spoke with several Gylians, including Mathilde Vieira — who congratulated him on his non-violent conduct —, Recreation Records founder Alison MacKay — who he jokingly asked, "Yo, when is the new My Bloody Valentine album coming out?" —, columnists Esua Nadel and Denise Sarrault, and Ranyi Sesyk — who told him, "Darling, you're doing everything perfectly. I wouldn't do a single thing differently."

On a whim, he also called The Prime Minister's Residence in Akashi, and to his surprise he got a hold of Prime Minister Shinobu Furukawa. He told Shinobu he admired her opposition to the neoliberal conspiracy and wished to start a similar "mass awakening" in Delkora, and asked her for advice. Shinobu listened nonplussed, and told him, "Whatever you do, make sure nobody gets hurt. You have the high ground, you would lose it if it doesn't end peacefully."

Towards the evening, Andersen pressured the Federal Police to overrule the State Police and intervene. He was particularly outraged by Lauritzen's calls to Gylias, complaining that the Gylians treated him "like one of their heroes!". A Tactical Response Division unit was dispatched to the scene. Incensed, Thorup called Norenstal and harangued Vellarand and Andersen on the phone for "blatant interference in state affairs", resulting in a two-hour heated argument.

As the night went on, Lauritzen grew increasingly tired. The effects of the alcohol wore off, and he felt dejected that his hoped-for "mass awakening" was not happening. He called the Gylian Senate and got on the phone with Margot Fontaine, telling her despondently, "I've failed. It's a waste of time. Nobody's listening to me." Margot consoled him and reassured him his protest had not been in vain, reminding him he had made a stand and had garnered the attention of the world.

Having stonewalled the Federal Police, the State Police on the scene decided to intervene, attempting to end the situation quickly before the TRD could be deployed.

Lauritzen's last phone call took place at 22:33, with National Reconstruction Alliance leader Lai Kalþan. Lai phoned on her own initiative, and congratulated him. She expressed admiration of his success in ridiculing the authorities, and joked that "we could use people like you in ARENA!", to which he quipped, "Thanks, but I couldn't handle the dress code." She advised him the most important thing was "knowing when to end things properly", and said he had done all he could, which he understood was her encouragement to end the standoff.

Resolution

Shortly after 22:45, the State Police cut the electricity in the State House, as demanded by the Federal Police.

Seeing the office without power and unable to call or fax anyone, Lauritzen decided to surrender. He pulled the bookshelf blocking the window, knocking it over in the process. He opened the window and put his head outside with his arms up. He shouted to onlookers, "It's only me! There's no one else! I'm ending it!"

State Police noticed the commotion, and mistook his statement for a suicide threat. They hastily brought a safety trampoline from firefighters, and urged Lauritzen to jump into it. Lauritzen did so, and was caught safely. It took a few minutes for State Police to realise he had been the occupier of the State House, and took him into custody.

Lauritzen was handcuffed and brought to a police car, then driven to a nearby hospital. In the car, a dazed Lauritzen asked the officers, "How... was the donuts?". The officer driving, feeling sorry for him, replied, "They were delicious." Lauritzen chuckled and then passed out.

Unaware that the perpetrator had been apprehended, the TRD unit stormed the State House at 22:50. They made their way up to the fourth floor, but failed to break open the door to the serjeant's office. They used a detonator to blast it open instead, destroying the couch in the process.

The unit stormed into the room, only to find it empty. They found empty and half-drunk liquor bottles, a "thick cloud" of cigarette smoke, print-outs strewn about the floor. In the darkness, one of the officers accidentally stepped and slipped on the empty pizza box.

Aftermath

Legal

Lauritzen was charged with breaking and entering, property damage, and unauthorised use of a government computer. The court found him guilty on two counts, but quashed the accusation of property damage, ruling that most of it was accidental, and the Federal Police had caused more damage by blasting open the door. He was given a suspended sentence and ordered to undergo psychiatric treatment.

He spent the remainder of his life in and out of psychiatric treatment, engaged in eccentric activism and protests, and working as a freelance photographer. He committed suicide on 14 September 2003.

The Federal Police were ordered to reimburse the State House for the damages caused by their detonation.

Politics

Federal

The siege overshadowed the 1991 federal election, and had a paradoxical effect on the result. Andersen's Conservative–Agrarian coalition lost its majority, although the Conservatives narrowly retained a plurality. The deployment of Federal Police was a polarising decision, and many urban voters punished the government for what they saw an excessive reaction.

National Labor's predicted gains failed to materialise, and the party instead lost 4 seats. Some of its voters voted for the Greens and Communists instead in protest. Lauritzen's outlandish demands were likened by one commentator to "a day of free advertising for the Loonies when election silence was in effect." To the media's surprise, the United Loony Front's support surged, and it won 16 seats. Much of their support came from previously disaffected youth voters, who showed up to vote for the Loonies specifically to humiliate the Conservatives instead of staying at home.

When the new parliament was sworn in, Andersen declined the first exploratory mandate, which king Haldor VII passed to Jørgensen. She tried to form a coalition with the Liberals, backed by the far-left. The issue of drug liberalisation and long-standing policy sank the chances of cooperation with the Communists, forcing her to give up the mandate. Andersen managed to remain in office by securing support from the Moderates, reluctant to back a government that would depend on the far-left.

Andersen's precarious minority government never recovered from the embarrassment inflicted by Lauritzen, and he became known as the "besieged Chancellor". In response to his first inaugural address, Jørgensen exclaimed, "What on earth was the Chancellor thinking, sending the Federal Police to Gothendral?". The remainder of the session saw Andersen attacked from all sides for his handling of the crisis. One Loony MP quipped that, "If the punishment should fit the crime, Marius should be sentenced to the Gylian Parliament. He'd fit right in."

Despite coming close to losing office entirely, Andersen continued his right-wing agenda instead of trying to moderate. He was forced by the opposition to open inquiries into various scandals and controversies, from the handling of the Feldengaard kidnapping incident to Delkorans involved in the neoliberal conspiracy and whether he had improperly pressured the Federal Police during the siege.

Ultimately, these investigations uncovered the Conservatives' links to the neoliberal conspiracy and involvement in corruption. Andersen was revealed to have engaged in bribery to gain favourable media coverage, pressured DBS to obtain more favourable coverage, and illegally induced paper candidates to run in some constituencies to split the left-wing vote. These revelations collapsed Andersen's government in a 1994 vote of no confidence, causing a snap election won by Jørgensen.

Kol Vossgaard's role in the siege boosted his national profile, and helped him win a seat in 1991 with the most personal votes of the Green Party list.

State

Despite fighting with the federal government and delaying the Federal Police's intervention, Thorup was politically damaged by the incident. She lost the 1992 state election by a landslide to a leftist coalition. Several United Loony Front parties participated and subjected Thorup to relentless mockery. One of their posters showed Lauritzen's demand and a cartoon of Thorup demanding, "How am I supposed to use both sides of my mouth for this?!".

Thorup took her defeat in stride, quipping "Well, I'm glad I didn't sell my car" in response to losing re-election in her constituency. She later defected to the Centre Democrats.

Diplomacy

After being sworn in as Chancellor, Andersen sent a letter to Mathilde Vieira condemning her behaviour in "encouraging" Lauritzen during the standoff.

In reply, Mathilde sent a photocopied transcript of a conversation from Mette Elvensar's state visit, in which Elvensar joked "Is Miss Fortune still at large?", prompting laughter and Akane Tsunemori's reply, "Yes, she's hard to catch, a master of disguise." Mathilde attached to it the blunt remark, "Is a sense of humour exclusive to National Labour?".

In popular culture

Lauritzen became something of a folk hero after the standoff, perceived as a creative prankster and admired as a culture jammer. Some of his demands and statements became widely quoted, for the contrast between his courageous stand against injustice and his prosaic, at times naïve language. "Poverty sucks, man" became a popular phrase symbolising blunt expression of an obvious truth. T-shirts with the slogan "Free Marius Lauritzen Now" became popular in Delkoran universities.

Two books were written about Lauritzen's actions, based on interviews conducted with him by Margot Fontaine and Nora Gunnarsen. Margot and Nora were the ones he most trusted to tell his story. Their books acknowledged Lauritzen's considerable strength of will and courageous stand, and sympathetically discussed his struggles with the mental health system, describing him as an outsider who never managed to fit into society. Nora described the standoff as unintentionally providing "a rallying point that brought together Delkora's alternative nation just as it was ready to crash the mainstream."

The siege remains the biggest security breach in the history of the Førelskov State House. After the incident, a raft of new security measures were put in place, including additional cameras, new door and window sensors, and improved cyber-security. The comic demands and embarrassment caused to the authorities made much of the public see Lauritzen as a "Gylian criminal", in the eccentric mold of Ranyi Sesyk.

The siege has been referenced and depicted in pop culture. The scenario inspired the Delkoran comedies Pirate Radio (1992) and Rhythm and Blue Lights (1993), similarly depicting eccentric and bumbling protagonists who cause standoffs that turn into media circuses.