Lord M'reng

The Honourable Lord M′reng, Dr. Trjuk Krjên-magh MP, MPhD, OA
Native name	筑柬寞
Born	(1812-12-30)December 30, 1812
Died	May 2, 1881(1881-05-02) (aged 68) Kien-k'ang, Themiclesia
Buried	c. 3 km south of Tubh Railway Station, Tubh County, Inner Region
Allegiance	Themiclesia
Service/branch	Militia of Mhje′ and Marines
Years of service	1855 – 1858, 1863 – 1881
Rank	MP & Second Class (rural election) Colonel-in-Chief (1855 – 1858) Colonel (1863 – 1870) Colonel-General (1870 – 1881)
Commands held	Marshal of Mhje′ 2nd Regiment of Marines Captain-General of Marines
Battles/wars	Battle of Liang-la
Awards	Order of Authors (posthumously, 1901) Doctor of Mathematics (posthumously, Academia Shinasthana, 1905)

The Hon. Dr. Trjuk Krjên-magh MP, PhD, OA (Shinasthana: 筑柬寞, Dec. 30, 1812 – May 2, 1881) was a Themiclesian mathematician, legislator, civil servant, and military officer. He was born to a gentle family in 1812 in the Inner Region and was a member of parliament between 1847 and 1854 in Tubh, for the Conservative Party. The Conservatives in opposition, he lost his seat in 1854 without having entered the ministry. He became the Director of Education of Mhjeh the following year then moved to the Marshal of Mhjeh. A staunch Conservative, he entered a prolonged feud with the Liberal Secretary of State for War over budget and was dismissed in 1858. He became a doctor of mathematics in 1860, working on discrete calculus. Through his connections in the Navy, he became the colonel of the 2nd Regiment of Marines, thereas surrendering to the Camians in the Battle of Liang-la. Shortly after a public inquiry, he was promoted to Captain-General, where he entered another feud with the Admiralty and the future prime minister the Lord of Krungh, and there he remained until his death in 1881.

Military career

Marines

Trjuk returned to the University of the Pond in 1860 to pursue a doctorate in mathematics, working on his long-beloved field of discrete calculus. He became a doctor of mathematics from that institution in 1862. Having tried and failed to secure a tenure in that institution, he again appealed to the Ministry of Administration for a public office, but his prolonged disagreement with the Lord of Krungh, who was by this time a leading figure in the Conservative Party, prevented a rapid appointment. Eventually, Krungh told the Executive Committee he planned to "get rid of him" (from the social scene in Kien-k'ang) by arranging his appointment as colonel of the 2nd Regiment of Marines, which was stationed on the Isle of Liang. On the one hand, Trjuk wanted an appointment soon, as his seniority in the Civil Service would expire soon if he was not in some sort of office, but he detested the idea of being on Liang, which the Camians threatened to take. Trjuk appeared before the Executive Committee and stated the "colonelcy can be offered to a starving pauper and be still rejected," while making dissenting speeches to aristocrats and other party leaders. Eventually, he was forced to accept the position. After the appointment, he lingered in Kien-k'ang, unwilling to travel to the island, for several months. The government ordered him to set sail in March 1864, after irrepressable Liberal derision and caricature of his refusal to take up his commission, which was threatening the image of the Conservative Party.

On his first day in office, Trjuk made a serious blunder by playing and accidentally discharging a pistol, killing one of his subordinates. The government sent a tribune (government attorney) to investigate the homicide, and Trjuk was duly acquitted by the House of Lords, on the grounds that he did not know how a pistol worked or that it was dangerous. In 1865, Trjuk was made Lord M′reng (顭君) on completing 20 years of public service, as the brother of a sitting peer. Liberal MP ′jang said it was "20 years of public disservice". The latter, invited to visit Trjuk, asked the same if he even knew what a gun was. He replied, "I am glad to say I have never seen a gun before. It is obvious our social spheres have been widely different." Asked what he did during the day, he said he invited himself to lunch and dinner every day on the empty island, because there was nobody to talk to. The MP also discovered a large pile of letters from the Admiralty in a basket for firewood. He later disclosed all he heard and saw to journalists, who hounded the government for his replacement. Yet since his was a Parliamentary appointment, the Admiralty was powerless to move him, and the House of Lords was unwilling to set the precedent of removing an aristocrat from office on the grounds of incompetence. On the other hand, Trjuk also arranged for broad publication for his monograph Insular Calculus (mocking his isolation on Liang), which was a success amongst academics in the 1860s and 70s.

After surrendering to the Camians, the Commons Liberals demanded his immediate dismissal for refusing to fight. The Conservative majority rejected an impeachment, after the House of Lords said they would not at all consider the removal of an aristocrat from office. However, he lost an election in 1870 for a seat in parliament. Krungh, his eternal enemy, played a cruel prank on him—he was made Captain-General of Marines, enlarging job that he hated. Trjuk was so frustrated that at one point he considered suicide. Over the next few years, Trjuk gave up on the thought of obtaining a ministerial office, which became progressively remote as Krungh became the leader of the New Conservative faction that was gaining traction amongst peers. Trjuk began to table legislation at the House of Commons relating to his portfolio rather than antagonize Krungh. Ironically, this made him a more popular person in the party. By 1875, Trjuk was tabling a considerable number of bills to repeal a number of disliked rules in the Marine Corps. In 1878, he managed to abolish the hated militia fine, which was a fine levied on marines with the excuse that they fail to participate in five days' drilling at their home towns' militias. Civilians simply claimed a "lame leg", and this was never contested, but this was not possible for marines for obvious reasons. Trjuk delivered a memorable speech at the Commons:

[...] I am by profession a mathematician, but it does not require a mathematician to see that every calendar year is approximately 365 and a quarter days. For this entire time, marines are employed aboard the Consolidated Fleet and other needy places, not permitted to leave. It seems impossible, to my mind at any rate, that they could have five days outside of the calendar year to discharge their natural and civic duties at militia musters. I would beg this house, for that reason, to make a statute excusing them from that duty, and they will ever remember the grace of Parliament, and so on and so forth...

Death

Trjuk died in 1881, aged 68, to typhoid fever.

Quotes

• "Sir, you stench of verdigris." — to the Liberal prime minister in 1851. Themiclesian coins were made of bronze, and to stench of verdigris was to evoke the image of money.
• "Mhje′ Prefecture is made more noble by the absence of a great amount of Liberals in its bosom, and its nonsensical expositions about equality in its mouth."
• "The first allegiance of the aristocracy is towards the little people in the streets and in the fields. By their vileness they ennoble us." — to fellow Conservative MP Hjen Gap, in a division.
• "With the prolongation of this Liberal government, we move from aristocracy to plutocracy, where power is measured by wealth and not merit." — to his constituents in the general election of 1854.
• "Sir, you commit treason if you fight this hour, and it is my unenviable duty to stop you." — to a fellow officer in the 2nd Regiment of Marines, before discharging a pistol on him.
• "I beg your pardon that I must shoot you. Please charge all convalescence costs to my estate agent." — to another fellow officer who wanted to engage the Camians, shooting him in the foot. The pistol flew out of his hand and left a scar on his left forehead.
• "This is a democratic isle, and we are a democratic force. Two commanders outweigh one." — to the commander of the 624th Signals Company and 81th Land Battalion of Naval Engineers, discussing whether they should surrender to the Camian forces.
• "Even if I surrender and soil your name a thousand times, I am the fittest man to be Captain-General, for I have been a member of parliament."
• "I am honoured to defend your pay-rise. To my mind there is no greater honour than to improve the condition of those who undergo the worst of conditions."
• "My lords and gentlemen, if each of you grant an amount equal to one percent of your personal income to my forces, they shall eternally be in your debt and thereof grateful to our high and august Parliament. At a stroke of your pen, you have power to improve their condition immesurably." — in his speech arguing for a 9-pence pay-rise for marines.
• "And because the populace continue to migrate to the coast, the cost of land continues to rise. Land being the source of many products, the cost of things in the vicinity also rises commensurately. The increase in the price of things is projected to be 13.2 per cent over the next six years; if nothing else, I ask humbly this house to adjust our salaries according to this figure."
• "The Master-General of the Ordnance: a pimp without a harlot, and so therefor his own harlot. And he is still worse than either, for he is of the middling sort." — on the Master-General of the Ordnance, who rejected one of his papers for new cannons.
• "The 20-year term of service must be abolished forthwith. It is cruel and drives recruits away, making the public gossip of innocent men as freaks of nature." — before the Council of Protonotaries, 1873, arguing that the standard 20-year term of service should be abolished.
• "I have lived an aristocratic life and done right things for lesser, lower individuals assigned to my custody. I think I may face my noble ancestors and friends with no shame." — on his deathbed.