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The Vitosium Press
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January 17th, 2017
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Prime Minister Raymond Venancias Insults Veterans
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"How can you be so stupid?" he said during a press conference, shocking everybody present. "Tell me, how is it possible to be so stupid?!"
The press conference was arranged to discuss the three Vitosian soldiers held captive in an enemy country. However, to the surprise of many, Venancias, somebody who started sharing rather egotistical thoughts recently, decided to make the press conference one to insult the brave souls who defend our beloved country and our allies!
"You sign this paper, right, that tells you to kill yourself. You basically sign up to die in wars," he told those present. "I mean wars are great because we can profit off them but who willingly wakes up one day and says 'yeah, I'mma sacrifice myself'."
His laughter angered many. Reporter, Michael Soletta, asked Venancias if he is insinuating that soldiers are stupid.
"Yeah," he replied. "We celebrate the lives these soldiers once lived but we never think about the decision they made that led them six feet under. You made your bed and now you get to lay in it ... literally."
Reporter, Josetta Vera, was passionate with her question.
"Sir, how can you even say something so horrific?" she asked him. "Without these soldiers, where would our country be? Your words dishonour every single person that has risked their life for our country."
Another reporter, Eric Sundin, chimed in as well.
"Our soldiers are worth more than a low life like you!"
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The Vitosium Press
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February 7th, 2017
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Deceitful Venancias Continues Lying
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Raymond Venancias likes to boast about his achievements, imagined and otherwise, that is no secret. The prime minister regularly claims the success of the greatest economy ever and the most decisive victory, as well as other superlatives he’s supposed to have delivered. As many remember last month, Venancias claimed that soldiers were stupid for "signing up to die". A week after that, he bragged to a gathering of military families that he had given them a "raise".
Through his first year in office, Venancias repeatedly and falsely characterized the economy during his term as the best in Vitosian history, which can be thanked to him and not his predecessor. Even as the economy began its decline, he still claimed that he has done better than any other Prime Minister. A bizarre lie that Venancias once told in May 2016 was that his father, Chris Venancias, was born in Zamastan. However, Chris had not stepped foot in Zamastan and was born in Sabbert, Entrofeira, Vitosium. In August 2016, Venancias would claim that five different magazines called him "Person of the Year", yet there was no evidence of that happening. These are only a few out of many, many lies that Raymond Venancias has told the public. This has led to many talk show hosts around the world mocking him for his claims.
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The Vitosium Press
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March 14th, 2017
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Venancias Claims Journalist Killed Many
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In a bizarre press conference, Raymond Venancias claimed that a journalist, Telmo Sosa, had killed many politicians and began to list off ten people. He demanded that Sosa, who asked him very direct questions during his last press conference, should be held accountable for the murders of those politicians, as well as treason for "being a hater".
In an investigation, it was found that the ten politicians Venancias claimed Sosa killed did not even exist. When asked about this relevation, Venancias had this to say.
"Of course they don't exist! He killed them!"
For the insane, false accusation, Sosa plans to sue the prime minister for character defamation.
John Bastos, a supporter of Venancias and a senator, said that Sosa "probably" killed people because "he is that type of person". He then claimed that "our beloved Prime Minister probably didn't say the names right."
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The Vitosium Press
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May 12th, 2017
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Prime Minister Gives Death Threat to Talk Show Host
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Much like most talk show hosts around the world, Ava Lansa mocked Venancias' way of talking, as well as his growing egotism and self-centered behaviour. However, one such person was not pleased at her portrayal of him on sunday's episode. That person was none other than Raymond Venancias, the current Prime Minister of the country.
"DISGRACE!" he commented on social media. "LAZY UNTALENTED AVA LANSA HATES VITOSIUM!"
He later commented, "DEATH TO TRAITORS LIKE AVA LANSA! AVA LANSA HATES ME! TREASONOUS AVA LANSAA!"
The talk show host, herself, commented on his remarks on social media a couple hours later.
"When a powerful person like the Prime Minister of Vitosium says something like 'death to traitors like Ava Lansa', it really scares you. The guy is unstable and should be removed from office!"
Senator Eddie Vila had this to say.
"Venancias believes that he is above the law but nobody is above the law, let me tell you. The fact that he can say 'Ava Lansa deserves death' is a clear death threat and he should be held accountable!"
Senators that support Venancias, however, like John Bastos, Casimiro Borges, Nathan de Lima, Lukas Jost and Joshua Tomao, believe that nobody should speak ill of Venancias, claiming that he has done so much and should be respected.
"Lansa should be fired," Tomao commented.
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The Vitosium Press
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June 20th, 2017
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Prime Minister Wants to Rule for "All Eternity"
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In a bizarre, nonsensical rant, Prime Minister Raymond Venancias told supporters and the press that he wants to make the country a monarchy like when King Alexander reigned. He told all those present that, as the "best person to ever rule a country", he should be able to rule "for all eternity". When a reporter, Grace Tanetti, told Venancias that a switch to a monarchy was unlikely, he retorted that anything was possible "because I'm the Prime Minister".
He then erupted into a long rant, stating that he was chosen by God and that, as God's "personal disciple", he should be able to rule the land God "gave" him. However, this didn't phase the press, many of whom gave up religion after the infamous Johnville Massacre. Another reporter, Carter Watson, asked how he would achieve such a goal as to make the country a monarchy once more. Venancias states that "the Assembly, the Senate, and the Commons all want me to rule forever so they will make it happen". However, many senators and Commons personnel all rebuted his statement. One such person was senator David Miratti.
"The guy is a lunatic," he told The Vitosium Press later that day. "Nobody I know wants him around at all!"
Another senator, Rachelle Tabiso, told us, "I would never make a decision that would endanger our country. A decision that makes Venancias a king is disadvantageous at best for the people."
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