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Pizza diplomacy

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Pizza diplomacy, alternatively named Fastfood diplomacy, is a sort of communication via informal ways allegedly used by the Walnerian Bureau for Security of the Confederacy (RBSA). It is named after Pizza, as allegedly, delivery services, such as Pyramid Pizza are the major ways of informal data delivery. This communication channel involves a Walnerian state organ, possibly an embassy, a consulate or any other organ stationed in a foreign country, ordering pizza to be delivered to an embassy, government building or any other object rented or otherwise owned by another government agency or secret service of a foreign country. The delivery driver is an agent of either the RBSA or secret service of another country, allowing classified documents or any other memo to be added to the delivery.

Alleged methods

Pizza as it has been served in Pyramid Pizza in Godstone

Methods allegedly used by the RBSA include the following scheme of operation:

  • A secret service agent enters a foreign country as a civilian and is granted a visa
  • This agent (or multiple agents) get hired by a Walnerian company most commonly[a]
  • These agents are then assigned through cooperation with the manager to handle deliveries for and from the embassy[b]
  • The secret service agent is granted a work permit
  • If a secret communication is necessary, the worker is called by the embassy and delivers food to the country's organ in question.
  1. Companies allegedly used by RBSA vary, but in most claims, it is either Pyramid Pizza or Gesno, giving it the name Pizza diplomacy
  2. It is alleged, that the manager could be an agent, or at least be checked and cleared by the Walnerian government

Incidents

Even though there has been no official recognition of the use of Pizza diplomacy, three total incidents, spanning from the 1990's to the present day, have been presented as main proofs of the use of Pizza diplomacy in praxis.

1997 food poison incident

In March 1997, it is claimed, that two agents of the Advocatian secret service suffered major diarrhea after allegedly eating pizza sent from the Walnerian embassy in Victoires. In a semi-offical form, Advocatian side accused Walneria of trying to poison its secret service. Walneria denied any intention of planning any such operation and published a set of multiple secret documents claiming its innocence. 3 days later, Advocatius has withdrawn the accusation, caliming that the source of food poisoning has been identified and they extend their appology to Pyramid Pizza and the Walnerian government for causing a diplomatic incident.

Multiple experts have suggested, that this whole incident could have been caused by an accidental ingestion of a secret document, that stuck to the pizza. This idea could be supported by the fact, that ever since the 1967 Walnerian spy affair, all secret, classified and ultra-classified documents used and produced by the RBSA have been laised with an extremely potent laxative to discourage potential spies from ingesting the documents as a means of destroying evidence if caught.

2011 Zaxar exile deal

Pizza diplomacy has been allegedly used by Walneria in 2011, when a series of pizzas have been allegedly sent to Zaxar's government and secret service, warning it of a possible coup attempt by the Zaxar Armed Forces. The lack of presence of the crown heir Benjamin Zaxar on the state media between March 2011 and September 2011 is allegedly a sign, that he has been smuggled to a safeplace in order to prepare for a hypothetical government-in-exile position.

Multiple have suggested, that he might have spent a part or most of the time in Varol Fraistain Polar Station, being smuggled there with resupplying mission docking in Zaxar in early April 2011.

Although no solid proof or direct evidence pointing at secret communication exists, multiple people pointed out, that there has been a photo from the royal residence, where the Emperor William Zaxar has been eating pizza, allegedly from Pyramid Pizza. It is also alleged, that Benjamin Zaxar has been spotted in Walneria a week before the official diplomatic mission in September 2011, possibly being taken back along with the diplomatic ataché as the coup attempt has been subdued.

2022 Delamaria data leak

On August 8 2022, a report from the diplomatic communication between Delamaria and Walneria has been accidentally published without removal of a classified section proposing a data exchange between the two countries using the Pyramid Pizza shop in Labrador, in relation to the percieved threat posed by a communist bloc formed Velaheria, Stedoria and West Sanarija.

Government of Walneria's official response suggest, that their public document archive has been hacked by a group of anarchists adding in the section as "Government ordering boneless pizza" has become a sort of an Internet meme among the young generation, being an ironic continuation of a 2017/2018 meme of a similar nature. Administrator of the archive has allegedly been repremanded, but was not fired or demoted and continues to run the website, adding to the public's suspicion over an accidental leak.

The President of Delamaria Deborah Van Roose was asked about the topic however declined to answer, later a DNS spokesperson denied the allegations, stating "there is no truth to these stories of government agents using pizza to deliver classified information to foreign governments. Such actions are illegal and are not the procedure of the DSS nor the DNS".

Official explanation

Official statements of the Walnerian Bureau for Security of the Confederacy are, that they are not aware of any such activity, as embassies and installations outside of Walneria do not fall into their competence.

Government of Walneria's expalanation is, that ambassadors of the Confederacy of Walneria have been instructed to sometimes order food delivery from Walnerian bussinesses in the area, both to support local Walnerian enterprise, and to propagate Walnerian cuisine to foreign government apparatus. As an example, the Prime Minister of Walneria has said, that just the embassy workers in Gromųva, Dazhdinia, has ordered in a single June week 33 meals from companies originating in Walneria, out of which there were 15 orders from Pyramid Pizza and 9 orders from Gesno alone, the rest being mostly from Walnerian and Ustokan restaurants across the city.

During the same time span, four pizzas were sent, one to the embassy of Orioni, as the ambassador in Dazhdinia was celebrating their birthday, two to the Gromųva C.A.O. city council, as the ambassador was invited to parttake in a venue and brought it as a symbolic gift. The last one was given to one control commissioner, allegedly because they asked about what food they should try on their vacation in the Granite Mountains.

Court litigation

On January 13th, 2021, a group of 27 people who claim to have worked in government offices or delivery companies launched a class action lawsuit agains the central government and the secret service, claiming, that the use of Pizza diplomacy is unconsitutional and as such should be investigated and punished as espionage and all documents regarding the alleged list of 17 incidents involving Pizza diplomacy should be declassified.

While the court date has been chosen and both sides presented their arguments in front of the Central Constitutional Court, after a RBSA's appeal, the Central Administrative Court in Tyrámen issued a ruling, that secret documents are not required to be published in court for the sake of national security to any personnel without clearance, stating the possiblity of foreign agents hypothetically suing government in future just to declassify secret information they are trying to get.

After this formal ruling on evidence, the arguments of the 27 clients of the plaintiff have been denied by the Constitutional Court, which has issued a ruling, that there is no proof of constitutional misconduct from the side of the government or from the side of the secret service, noting that the burden of proof has not been reached and as such must be reached before any ruling on this could be considered final.